Do Beautiful Women Scare Men
Sometimes women can tell when men are interested but are too shy to make the first move.
They look like they have something to say but internally, they’re struggling with whether they should make the approach. More often than not, they don’t and that can be frustrating.
I have a lot of empathy for men who want to make a move but are worried about rejection. Or men who search for the right time or a green light because they don’t want to invade a woman’s space inappropriately. That kind of insight and self-awareness is endearing.
For anyone to be nervous, they have to care a little.
For you to care, you have to have skin in the game, something that you worry about. You have to be a little invested in the outcome which makes it feel like higher stakes. The rewards could be great but the penalties (the rejection) could also be painful.
Some might say, “If a man wanted to, he would” and I do think that there is truth to it, but I don’t think you can use that statement and paint it across all situations all the time.
I once heard a man say that a lot of men find it very difficult to approach women, especially if the woman is very attractive. He said that beautiful women can often scare men.
I found that to be both amusing and odd but also insightful. It’s always useful to hear about the male experience from the mouths of men.
He also made reference to the other types of men, the ones who chase women for “sport”. For these types of men, approaching women is a game, a game of numbers, and if they approach enough women enough times, chances are they will eventually get lucky.
We’ve met these types of men.
The ones who will catcall you from the other side of the street, who will interrupt you without any regard for whether you’d be receptive to their advances, or the ones who’ll tell you to smile when you’re having a rough day. Limited emotional intelligence, but their bark is the loudest.
It’s an approach, tinged with arrogance and entitlement.
There’s a way that men approach women that feels very egotistical. It’s about dominance and power in contrast to a man who approaches a woman with genuine curiosity.
When women ask why men don’t approach anymore, men often talk about how the current state of play has made it harder. That’s understandable. In some ways, it’s good. Men should think a little bit more about how their approach might be perceived. A little self-reflection is a good thing.
I do wonder though, whether it’s the introspective men, the ones who women actually want to be approached by, are the ones who are doing a little too much introspection and so never make a move. Whilst the ones who probably should be doing a bit more, are still dog-whistling women in the street.
Perhaps that is why I prefer introverts over extroverts. There’s something about them that draws me in. Their closed-off nature requires some gentle coaxing before they let their personality really blossom and shine. They’re usually more thoughtful, reflective, introspective, and contemplative which are great qualities to have in a relationship or friendship.
With an introvert, there’s usually space for silence, a space you can breathe in.
An extrovert, on the other hand, knows how to fill any silence with long-winded monologues of unfiltered consciousness.
There’s no mystery there.
A little mystery is attractive.
